If This Offends Anyone.

February 28, 2012

Over thirty dead and hundreds wounded in retaliation for U.S. troops burning copies of the koran, and despite all of Barack Obama’s apologies the violence seems set to continue, it seems a day doesn’t go by without yet another muslim being offended by someone who questions the text, or the actions of those following its teachings. I don’t doubt for a minute the book burning was a deliberate act, but considering the mass murder that has resulted perhaps rather than apologising the U.S. president should be giving them medals, after all their actions have shown the religion of peace for what it really is, its followers need little excuse to kill indiscriminantly, preferring to kill American soldiers, but they are perfectly happy to kill their own if no soldiers are available.

In this country they demand tolerance from the rest of society, and yet they are easily offended by gay people and call for them to be beaten, stoned or burnt to death, and they take a particular dislike to any person who highlights texts from the koran or hadiths, obviously you wouldn’t want to offend these very easily offended people, so I’ve made a list of things to avoid talking about, so you have no excuse if you want to avoid upsetting muslims

The prophet mohammed having sex with little girls, muslims seem very sensitive about this one and always rush to point out he didn’t actually have sexual intercourse with aisha until she was nine tears old, up till that point he only rubbed himself against her until he ejaculated, and in the hadiths he proclaimed the practise known as thighing was permissible with children even as young as to still be feeding from their mothers breast.

Rape of women considered booty, rape of any woman for that matter, for mohammed stated when a man rapes a woman he is not to blame, the woman obviously enticed him to act in such a way, and besides the man would be forgiven by allah for at the moment he was committing the crime he ceased to be a muslim, when the crime was finished the man would return to being a muslim, bit like an out of body experience, sort of out of his body and into someone else’s, but all permissible in islam.

Deceit and lies are very much encouraged against all except other muslim obviously.
Violence and terrorism isn’t so much permitted as insisted upon, the koran and hadiths actually advise muslims not attack their enemies unless they have an overwhelming advantage. If muslims did not hold such an advantage they were encouraged to befriend the none believer and gain their trust, then kill them stealthily while they slept. Remember this one next time someone describes a muslim as moderate and very nice.

Sex with animals while not universally approved of by all muslim sects, its not exactly frowned upon, as long as the animal is killed after intercourse and the meat not sold to members of your own village, and you are not permitted to sell the meat to any muslim if an act of sodomy was performed on the animal, but it is perfectly alight to sell the meat to none believers, so you won’t be out of pocket. Remember this one next time tour eating out.

Obviously if you wish to avoid causing offence to muslims you should avoid mentioning al the facts i have highlighted above, or perhaps we shouldn’t try to avoid causing upset, perhaps muslims should grow a thicker skin, or better still take a long hard look at their holy book and do as anyone with with any sanity would do and find another religion.

Oh and if this offends anyone – good.